April 6

It’s been such a long, slow process that I couldn’t ever think of an update to write, so it’s been a long time since my last entry in this journal of sorts.

I am at the 3 month mark now. The past week or so have been a real turning point. Finally, I can do normal, everyday things without ending up completely exhausted or getting a huge headache afterward. I actually washed both my dogs this week! That is monumentous! (see pictures of my dogs for why) I even have the strength to walk BOTH of them alone now! (I have a 90 pound and a 45 pound chow chow)

When I look back at all of this, it seems almost surreal. And even more unreal is the fact that I came through all this with my full faculties, my ability to walk, talk and see, etc.

An exciting thing this week has been that the function of my left hand is beginning to return to me! It was never completely non-functional, but before the surgery, it wouldn’t hold anything, I couldn’t trust it, and after the surgery until here recently, it lacked small motor coordination. Things like tying my shoes, doing buttons, putting in an earring… anything a two year old would have trouble with in other words, were difficult. But it is coming back! I’m gaining control over it again. It’s pretty exciting to me.

I still have a lot of facial numbness, and the dizziness is always with me – but it is now at a point where it is livable, and I know that it will also, slowly improve.

My entire perspective on life has changed through this ordeal. I guess these kind of things have that effect. I worry less. I appreciate every little thing more. I try to make the most of each and every day. I am acutely aware of how short life is. And I’m not afraid of dying. (I know that sounds scary to a lot of people, but I have truly lost that fear.)

My hair is a sad thing. My hair is the kind that uses any excuse possible to fall out. It is baby fine and wimpy. It went ‘to town’ with this excuse! I look like I’ve had chemo or something. But a nice girl cut it for me the other day, which helped a bit. I found out that in traumatic surgeries, your body goes into a “life saving” mode and shuts down ‘unessential’ functions. Hair is one of those. So it falls out.

I want to say this one thing and get it out on the internet: I have read several blogs about brain surgery survivors, and none of them (that I ran across anyway), were encouraging. In fact, they are quite the opposite. The day I read through several of them a month or so back, I was reduced to a heap of tears of discouragement. So, I want to say this: I am a brain surgery survivor, 3 months out (minimum healing for brain surgery is considered to be 6 months), and I am doing WELL, very well in fact. I anticipate a complete recovery. I don’t know if the negative reports come from people with surgeons not as good as I had, or what the deal is. I only know that if you, or someone you know is going through, or has had major brain surgery, I want you to be encouraged. It seems to take forever, but the brain does heal. You can recover. I believe that my faith has very much to do with my recovery. I think that most doctors will back me up in that faith and a positive outlook greatly affect the healing process. Trusting God with my recovery, knowing the support and love I had from my friends and family, gave me strength every single day. It does take a long time to heal, but don’t lose heart!

Here is a video of me, working, only about 3 weeks after my surgery.